Deaf
by kurai ren
Summary: '"I wonder, one is blind, the other mute, will you then be deaf to your own pain Akiyama?"' Some of my readers requested a sequel...although I don t think this is the sequel you are hoping for...but well...haha sorry...anyway Fushimi is a bit OCC


A/N: Some requested a sequel...wherein Saruhiko returns Akiyama`s feelings...or in this case at least gives him a chance...but I already have a sequel in mind...but just to make that person happy I decided to write a AkiFushi oneshot!

To be honest..I don`t really see them being together...well until Fushimi lets go of Yata but based from what I saw during the anime or analyzed from his behavior...he would never let go of his feelings for Yata...so I`m sorry if this Fic is depressing...but hey at least Akiyama won!

But don`t worry it can be read as an accompaniment to the first K fic I wrote which is "Blind and Mute"

By the way this takes place a few months after my first fic.

Also if you`re confused the Author`s note at the end might answer some of that confusion, most especially Fushimi`s OCCness

So have fun!

Warning: OCC Fushimi, Cussings and other character OCCness

Disclaimer: I do not own K project

* * *

Deaf

* * *

"Everything seems at ease Akiyama." Munataka stated casually as his subordinate entered his office, "Fushimi-kun seems to have mellowed and certain incidents have decreased."

Akiyama stiffened, their captain has always been a keen observer. Little changes don`t go unnoticed by the scepter 4 leader. He liked to believe that their captain could see everything from their office, the man was an enigma. However Akiyama was not worried that their captain will see their relationship negatively. In facts he would believe ,that, f that were the case Munataka Reisi would tolerate it, for the sake of his third-in-command which he grew fond of.

Munataka chuckled at Akiyama`s stiff posture. He could clearly see the man`s devotion to Fushimi. To be honest, they were entertaining to see. No matter how discrete Akiyama would be, his actions are easily seen, his devotion an d affection easily noticed. However, it wasn`t healthy, for both Fushimi and Akiyama, but Munataka is willing to overlook it, since both young men are old enough to decide on their own.

"I have nothing against your predicament," The king stated bluntly, "however both of you should handle the damage."

Akiyama frowned, "sir?"

Munataka casually picked up his forgotten paper work, "You are dismissed." and he read the report as he hear the door gently close behind his subordinate.

"I wonder, one is blind, the other mute, will you then be deaf to your own pain Akiyama?"

* * *

A few days after his meeting with his captain Akiyama was in for a surprise.

Strangely enough Fushimi had called him during their day off. Akiyama was surprised that his cold and aloof superior would call him out just to have lunch. It was surprising, the bespectacled man would never willingly call him for lunch, and he would certainly wouldn`t try to act kinder. But truth be told, it made his heart flutter, just spending a day with the person who holds his affection.

And his dream continues, after lunch Fushimi asked (demanded) that he should accompany the other for a walk in the park. Although it was very odd still Akiyama would not let this chance slip by. Smiling happily he followed the other wherever he went. The walk was silent but the green haired man didn`t mind, so long as he was with his superior.

After a while though, Fushimi sat on a bench in the more secluded part of the park. Although subtle Akiyama noticed the change of Fushimi`s mood. There was no such change on his face, except for the light furrowing of his brows, his hands then were shaking a little. The other sat down beside him, he waited silently for the other to speak.

"I-" Fushimi started "I...I wanted to give it chance" he said slowly, "I want to give us a chance."

Akiyama`s eyes widened at the implication of the words, "Fushimi-san I-"

"It`s the least I can do." The younger said, his fist clenched tightly enough to draw blood. "I may not be the sanest of people and that I may still hold feelings for him but I want to give you a chance, I want to at least selflessly give you something to hold on to."

"Fushimi-san..." the other called gently, "You do not need to force yourself." he brought a hand to slowly caress the other`s face making the other face his way. "Fushimi-san, it`s alright you do not-"

"But I want to!" the other snapped, his face slowly changing into a more vulnerable state, "I want to...I want to...I have to..." his voice shook, the insanity was mixing with the sadness, slowly morphing into a more vulnerable yet mad mantra, "I have to...I have to...Misaki...Misaki won`t...I have to..."

Akiyama gently placed a finger on the others lip to silence him, "It`s alright Fushimi-san...It`s alright..."

Akiyama slowly wrapped his hands around the broken man in front of him. His heart clenching painfully in his chest. He can never bear to see his beloved in pain, however he knew he could never live to watch his love pretend to even have a snippet of love him. He knew how painful it was for the other to let go of his feelings for his beloved Crow, he knew the other was only doing this because of desperation, gratitude and loneliness.

He knew that this is going to be an illusion,** a lie**. He can tell that Fushimi is only doing this out of desperation, gratitude and loneliness. His conscience was screeching at him to let the other man go, to tell him that he wouldn`t accept his decision, to tell him that he should be happy and not to force himself into loving him.

But he turned a deaf ear to his conscious, and held his beloved in his arms.

Fushimi lifted his head, and gently gave Akiyama a chaste kiss on the lips.

Akiyama blushed but smiled as if he won the world.

"I want...I want to try...I want to at least be able to forget..." the younger whispered, "I don`t know how long I will last before I break...but...I want to at least give you a chance."

Behind those words, Akiyama knew what the other meant. _'I want to at least repay you for the trouble I`ve cost, I want to at least make you happy before my sanity fades. It`s the least I can do...'_

"Thank you..." he whispered as he held the other tighter, "thank you so much Fushimi-san..."

Fushimi remained silent, relishing the love he wanted to much. Akiyama held him tightly, as if the other would fade.

As if this dream, this illusion would fade.

* * *

What they didn`t know is that someone saw their actions, that someone happened to walk near by and saw them.

Misaki was frozen behind the tree where he hid. His eyes wide and his heart painfully constricting in his chest. His mind racing, refusing to believe what he saw. Refusing to believe the reality that he just saw.

Saruhiko in another man`s arms, even to kiss him.

He clenched his teeth, one thought repeating over and over again.

'How dare he... **how dare he take Saruhiko!**'

* * *

What Akiyama didn`t suspect that day was to to have confrontation with a very, very pissed off King.

Scratch that, he wasn`t pissed...**he was seething.**

To be honest, he wasn`t quite sure how he got into this predicament. Based from memory however, he can clearly say that he was about to get some snacks, he left Fushimi at the park to get some rest. He was walking along the street when an arm grabbed him from behind and slammed him to the Alley wall. His head throbbed from the impact, and his vision swam a little but when it cleared he was faced with red aura and very angry Yata Misaki, **a very angry Red King**.

"Yata-" he began but the red head cut him off.

"Shut it you damn blue!" he snapped, "I have enough of your lot and the shit that you guys do but I want answers and you are damn hell going to give them to me!"

Now he wasn`t surprised in the least, from what he heard this new king is prone to violent fits, seeing as even before when he was just a clansmen he has shown to be violent and hostile. Also from what Fushimi describes (or rather what he saw whenever he happens to walk by the two fighting) the young red head is quite short tempered.

So the best thing to do is comply, "I do not know what it is that I- or what my clan has done but I do not remember ever doing something to receive your hostility." he said politely.

Of course it didn`t help, rather Yata became more hostile. "Look you damn Blue! tell me what the crap are you feeding Saru!" He snapped as he grabbed Akiyama`s collar roughly, " The hell is he talking about, huh!? what bull shit are you telling him?!"

Akiyama stared at him for a while. He understands now, it wasn`t because of his clan, not it was more personal. Apparently Fushimi and Yata miust have had a confrontation and the result is not seething in front of him. This was not a pissed off king, no he realized it was simpler. It was not a pissed off king, but a pissed off and angry teenager. An angsty, confused, jealous and angry teenager.

"I do not see the problem." he replied, "Fushimi-san is doing fine-"

"Don`t lie you damned blue! You must have said something to Saru because he is acting different!" the other yelled, "he is acting out of chracter and apparently you`re the reason!"

"But I-"

"What bull shit did you tell him?!" Yata continues to demand, "what is it? Why the fuck is he acting this way?! You god damn blue what do you do to him?!" he gritted his teeth, "he wouldn`t have left in the first place, he wound`t be ignoring me now and he wouldn`t...he wound`t...he wouldn`t have done that!"

Akiyama sighed, apparently the other is completely blind to the facts.

"I didn`t tell him any 'bull shit'" he said plainly, looking at the Crow straight in the eye, "If you`re wondering as to why he left or why did he stop approaching you then you only have yourself to blame."

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Yata all but yelled, "The hell is it my fault! He wouldn`t have left if you Blue`s didn`t lie to him! so I demand you tell me what kind of bull are you telling him!"

Akiyama frowned, although he understands completely as to why the new king is acting the way he is but it seems as though the other is still blind to the reality around him. He looked closely at the other`s eyes, he cound`t exactly read the emotions in them, how ever they are bordering into despair, hatred and desperation. The man in front of him is acting on his emotions now, plainly on his emotions and pent up anger.

Slowly Akiyama sighed, "I didn`t tell him anything, no one did. It was his own decision."

"Bull-"

"It was because you neglected to see what Fushimi is feeling." he cut the other off, "You`re too naive, too blind to see everything around you."

"what-"

"Don`t you see? you were everything to him!" he snapped, his cool composure melting away, "and yet you turned a blind eye on him! you hurt him! and now that your king is gone and Fushimi is moving on you just realize that you`re missing him!"

He had enough, he had enough of this man hurting his beloved. This young man who turned a blind eye to everything in front of him. Who turned a blind eye to the facts, to his surroundings, to everything. This man who turned a blind eye to his own feelings. He wants him to see, to see the mistake, the destruction and sadness his blindness has done.

"Don`t you see...It`s all your fault..." the other whispered, "If you hadn`t hurt him in the first place...then this wouldn`t have happened."

_'He wouldn`t have left Homra. I wouldn`t have met him. I wouldn`t suffer a heart break...Fushimi would have never gotten hurt, would have never gone insane... he would never have his heart broken beyond repair._' Is what he was implying.

Yata was stunned, his eyes wide and his grip slackened, as if relization struck him. Akiyama gently removed the hands of the stunned king from his clothes. He dusted the invincible dirt from his clothes before moving away from the still silent and frozen king. What`s done is done, there is no turning back, that is what he and Yata had realized.

"Tell me..." Yata said suddenly and Akiyama stopped on his steps, "Tell me...what are you to him? What...what am I to him?" he asked, his voice shaking at the last question.

The older sighed but without turning to look at the broken man he said, "To him I`am his pillar, something he can hold on to as the pain slowly feed off him. As for what you are to him...you were everything to him, you were...but now-"

_'You are still his world'_, his thoughts provided, his conscience demanding that he say those simple lines, to make the other realize that he still has a chance, that Fushimi may still have a chance to be with his beloved Crow.

but he turned a deaf ear to his conscience, "You are merely from his past." he said instead.

The other remained silent fro a while, before saying, "And what is he to you?"

A paused before the other replied, "He is my world, my everything...the person who holds my deepest affection."

He paused again before saying...

"He`s the only person I would never dare hurt."

When the other didn`t reply, he continued to walk away. He continued to walk away from the man who is his rival, his rival for the man he loved. But he one either way, Fushimi chose him, he chose to stay with him, to give him a chance. He walked away with his head held high and his eyes clear.

But his conscience was screeching at him, demanding that he turn back and tell the other he still had a chance, that Fushimi still has affections for him, that Fushimi never stopped longing for him. To tell the other to realize his own feelings and Fushimi`s so that the man in question would be happy.

But again, Akiyama turned a deaf ear to his conscience.

* * *

That night, the same routine, the same nightly ritual. It was always the same, and Akiyama came to love these evenings. Evenings when Fushimi would curl beside him. Evenings when Fushimi would lean on him, would let him hold him. Evenings when they would fall asleep and Akiyama would watch him when he wakes.

Evenings when Fushimi allows him to be cared for.

But tonight was special. Tonight is the first night Fushimi was curled in his arms, not as a friend or as someone who needs comfort.

**But as someone who is willing to give him a chance...**

Akiyama smiled as he watched the other sleep. Fushimi fell asleep a little while ago and he was too ecstatic to even close him eyes, fearing that this was all a dream. Today was uneventful and even tiring but all that aside he at least have this man in his arms. He at least has the man who holds his dearest affections.

He frowned when Fushimi`s brows furrowed suddenly is his sleep. Akiyama knew that Fushimi often had nightmares, seeing as he was mostly woken up by the man`s thrashing. He grew worried when tears started falling from the other`s closed eyes and that the other was sobbing a little, mumbling nonsense.

He caressed the other`s face and placed a light kiss on his temple, "It`s alright Fushimi-san, I`m here...always."

The other calmed and Akiyama smiled, but his heart broke when Fushimi opened his mouth.

"Mi...sa...ki..." the other whispered in his sleeps as he snuggled up to Akiyama.

Akiyama felt his world crash, his heart hurt and his thoughts distorted. His conscience was taunting him, telling him that he should have fixed everything in the first place. That shouldn`t have believed this dream, this illusion. Telling him that Fushimi would never be his, that he has to let go, to let him go. He should let go of the man he loves, to save both of them.

**To sacrifice his happiness, for the man he loves**.

But Akiyama turned a deaf ear to his screeching conscience.

He turned a deaf ear to his own pain.

He kissed the temple of his beloved and whispered...

"Ashiteru...Fushimi-san..."

That night he had a restless sleep, but relished the idea that he still won. That he was the one who had Fushimi in his arms, that Fushimi was willing to give him a chance.

He relished the dream, the illusion, the lie.

Even though deafness is the price...

* * *

A/N: Now I know others are thinking, 'Hey there's no fan art of Akiyama being deaf!' well to be honest this idea just hit me after I wrote my first fic.

I mean the fan arts of Fushimi and Yata always portrays Fushimi as mute or at least his mouth is always covered because he refuses to tell Yata his feelings, and then Yata is portrayed as blind or with his eyes covered because he couldn`t see Fushimi`s pain...so I thought maybe for this fic Akiyama would be the deaf one because...well just to complete the three main physical disorders...blind, deaf and mute...

Also I think it`ll fit well in the story.

Anyway I bet the Other`s believe that Fushimi is a bit occ...well to be honest I used a bit of psychology on him...if his Sociopathy was due to the pain that Yata has given him (because so far every other reason of his existence and decisions is because of Yata) I thought maybe he would develop other personality or psychological disorders... Trust me I had depression, there are times when I was insane, almost psychopathic and times when I`m vulnerable, sad, lonely and desperate for affection that I will cling to anything or anyone who will give me the time of day.

I believe that Fushimi would develop at least the borderline personality disorder or the dependent personality disorder. So far he has shown symptoms of a few mental disorders (psychopathy or sociopathy) but given as he must have develop them due to his pain or the "abandonment" Yata has done.

So that`s why he seems more vulnerable...different...weak and well Out of Character...it`s more like his mind is tired of everything...his depression seeping out from his mind, mixing with his more insane self...he needs to escape...he needs someone to hold on to and Akiyama is the only one willing to give him what he needs...

`course that`s my own analysis...I`m not a psychology major! okay?

anyway please forgive any grammatical or typographical errors...my Microsoft word is still busted...and it`s very difficult to write anything `cuz of that...

anyway go easy on me.


End file.
